I've always hated public speaking, I mean, always. Even if it's just some informal presentation for French Class, I'm still outlandishly nervous and on edge. My hands shake, the paper shakes, I look at my feet, I speak too fast, I shift my weight, and I just want to be done. I really hate public speaking, which is why I was unbelievably surprised at myself when I woke up one morning and decided I would audition for Big Show.
Well, it wasn't exactly like that. I've always really liked Big Show. It's funny and it's silly and it seems relatively informal. I was also feeling left out and sad because I don't play soccer and I really have no desire to play soccer but a lot of my friends play soccer and all they talk about is soccer sooo... I wanted to find something else to do! There was a long (20 minute) tortuous debate about whether or not I should audition during chemistry, in which I was convinced and comforted by the fact that my friend Sydney would be auditioning as well.
My audition was silly and I earned myself the nickname, "I can't believe I just said that." I will not, however, be sharing that story with you -- much too embarrassing. Much to my surprise, I was deemed funny enough to be made part of the cast. I knew I wouldn't be happy though, unless Sydney was in it with me, and she was, so it was all good. Then we wrote some stuff. Filmed some stuff. Rehearsed some stuff.
Then I had to perform some stuff. During all of that other stuff, somehow it had slipped my mind that I would have to perform it in front of a bunch of people. Twice. I became increasingly more nervous as the day drew closer, but on the day of I was surprisingly at ease. I knew what I had to say, I knew the voice I had to say it in, described by some as cute verging on creepy. I had my stuffed animals by my side, and I was ready to roll.
The hour of, however, the nervous feeling came back. I was ready to throw up, or pee my pants. But I did neither. Thanks for the "pimp" talk, Mr. Butler! Though helpful, it didn't stop me during those 2 minutes behind the curtain -- listening to Jack finish up his hilarious and borderline offensive pick-up lines -- from jumping up and down and punching Thomas in the arm. I was so nervous, I can't even tell you.
The lights went down, and I had to do it. Crap. Adam brought the lights up early. Panicked, I still managed to say loudly and clearly, "Esscuse me, not ready!" He brought them down again. Everyone laughed. Was it the voice or the pigtails? I don't know, but I do know that laughter is an unbelievably comforting sound sometimes. My hands weren't even shaking. I was ready then.
Lights on, I smiled.
"Let's have a tea party everyone!"
